Friday, January 25, 2013

Small step (But God!!)

So I set the stage for this post with my writings about my trip through the Amazon and the beginning of my Bush Whacking.  One year later I was was watching some of my God Sized Dream's coming true.  I had been invited by a dear friend and current women's ministry coordinator at our church back in California to come and share my story and God's glory.

I felt so honored and blessed to have been asked to come and share... Well call it spiritual warfare, set back, disappointment, or what ever; but I had a major step back (so I thought at the time) and found myself in the Meier Clinic.  I found myself head first in my pit of hopelessness and depression.  I felt suicidal and was truly afraid.  Three and a half weeks of intense truth telling, counseling, and therapy I had grown and yet still felt shaken.  My good friend came and spent every day with me and the boys that following week.  I was still fearful of my irrational feelings that I just had a few weeks prior.  At one point she shared that her deep feelings of grief that I had lost my confidence as a mother and as a woman in Christ.

I had allowed my feelings and fears during this time dictate my actions; instead of the feelings just being indicators of what was going on inside my heart.  I was enslaved to my feelings... I turned down the opportunity to share my life with some dear women just 2 1/2 weeks prior to the date.  The shame that I felt, lies that I believed kept me home.

My flesh fails daily, but God reminds me He's holding on to me.
But God!!  (don't you love those words found with in the Bible) He didn't end my story there.  He told me to stop digging in my pit, dry my self off, and return to bush whacking.  And I have been working harder than ever all while resting with the light burden of Christ's calling in my life (Matthew 11:30).  Oh how sweet to abide in Christ, it cost me my familiar pit but has brought me peace and joy.



So in faith I talked to my dear friend in California to see if she would welcome a wrecked, yet redeemed sister in Christ to come and share again.  I will see...there are no guarantees...But Christ isn't done with me yet!!

6 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you are stepping back out there and are willing to try again, I hope this time you go and shine! That devil and his lies, he can be so convincing, I know, but I hope that God's truth and light will be bigger and brighter in your life from now on. Blessings, friend.

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    1. Thank you sweet Alecia. I am trying to take a risk and need to stay grounded in the truth. Thank you sweet friend.

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  2. I am so happy you are allowing God to work in your life. I can't wait to hear what you have to say because I am sure it will touch so many lives. I love you.

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    1. Thank you for kind words. Love to you too.

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  3. I love "But God"....when the world in all its wisdom says this is our fate I remember But God says.....! So thankful for the promises throughout His word to us. He never said that we would not suffer and that life would be easy but he did say he will be with us all our days. Such comforting words to my soul. The promise I often remember is that he will repay us the years the locust ate (Joel 2:25). This was not a wasted year at all because you grew closer to the Lord and his truth. Your life is richer because of this year and his story is displayed so beautifully through you.

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    1. Thank you sweet friend. You have been a joy and delight to get to know. I can't wait for you to be a guest blogger.

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Thank you dear friend for stopping by. Please leave a message or question; look back and I will reply. Thank you and God bless, Alyson