Saturday, December 29, 2012

An epic Failure... or something better?



You step out and try... it's a stretch; but you pray and it fails!  Or does it?  Do you know that feeling?  You may have prayed about it and still it doesn't come to fruition in the way you thought.  Maybe it is a book unwritten or rejected, a friendship lost, an adoption closed by politics, resumes ignored, job lost... if you are in the human race you have experienced it to one degree or another; FAILURE!!

I'm a pro thenA quote I pinned on Pinterest sums it up how I want to live my life... I don't know who wrote it but they are right. -->

So my big mistake or failure of 2012 was building a well; or truly was it a failure?  I did try and I reached a whooping 6% of funds raised to build it.  I also happened to pick the most expensive well to build out of all the wells I could choose.  I wanted to build one that did it in Jesus' name for there was then the offering of not just water but also the gift of eternal water.

 I can get down on myself and the old tapes in my head would sound something like this is... "I failed, Why do I even try?  I must of not heard from God right."  Oh how condemnation always comes in my own voice.  It would be easier to recognize these messages as lies if it sounded like some evil monster.  But no, the failure messages have been in my own voice, sounding like I am just talking to myself.

So was it a failure to not complete my goal of a well project through World Vision?  I would like to argue the idea that no it isn't a failure.  Rather it is proof of stepping out; outside of myself and trying something.  The world may look and say "ah she did indeed fail"; because "she made a goal and it didn't happen."  I will state that 6% is 6 more percent than they would have had.  I would argue that success isn't in the end result rather it is in the stepping out and doing, just taking steps toward what you believe that God is calling you to do.

I thought back on my reading earlier in the year in Genesis about Abraham and Isaac.  The Lord had promised Abraham a son and he didn't have him till he was 100 years old (Chapter 21).  Then in Chapter 22 of Genesis the Lord asked Abraham to take his one and only son and sacrifice him.   Now this is a little crazy but in faith you know what Abraham did, he got up to go and do what he was asked to do; he even got up early.  Well many of you know that Isaac was even bound on the altar when God called out!!  Do Not Lay a Hand on the Boy!  the Lord said.  Did Abraham fail?  Maybe in that he didn't end up sacrificing his son; but he did what was called of him.  Abraham was obedient in his willingness to give his one and only son in sacrifice, trusting that God would still send him home with his son after his obedience (Genesis 22:5, "He said to his servants, 'Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there.  We will worship and then we will come back to you.'").

Now do I understand this story in all its significance; no, but I do know that Abraham was considered a man of faith by his obedience.  Likewise; I wonder if God just calls us to do things that may seem a little crazy, just to see if we will be obedient and trust.  God is the one that multiplies our efforts for his glory and in his timing.  I don't know, I guess that is why God is God and I am not.  I learned that I didn't build a well but that I did what I felt called to do and was obedient to my part.  Hopefully others have become more aware of the depravity and the call to love our neighbor.  That the 6% that was raised is multiplied by the Savior that took seven loaves and a few fish and fed over four thousand (Matthew 15: 29-39).  Yes we will make mistakes and even have some epic failures by our standards.  But I learned I can do something, and hopefully it was something in the direction toward God away from self.  Failed endeavor, by the worlds standards epic failure but I would say, "NO"  a great lesson in obedience and trust.  

4 comments:

  1. what a powerful raw post. I love it. I love the quote.. do what feel called to do and be obedient to our part.
    that's so true .. it doesn't always end up the way we expected our planned.. but obedience always brings us to intimacy!

    thanks for a beautiful post!

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    1. Thank you for reading and replying. Yes I sometimes buy into the lie that I have failed when things don't turn out the way I thought they would. ...

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  2. Thanks so much for sharing this, even though it's vulnerable, Alyson! Praying against feelings of failure and veiled lies of defeat as we all move forward!

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    1. Thank you so much. Thank you for the prayers. Prayers for you to dear friend.

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Thank you dear friend for stopping by. Please leave a message or question; look back and I will reply. Thank you and God bless, Alyson