Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Cloud and Townsend webniar- and a case of the 3 P's

So I am not doing counseling right now. Dont freak out...I havent lost it.  My parents gave me the gift of one year with Townsend and Cloud on a webinar. It is called life coaching. At first I was super overwhelmed because I feel like in the last year and a half I have made so many changes, it felt daunting to make more. I only got through the first 30 minutes and felt overwhelmed. It it took me two weeks to listen to the second half. How glad I am that I did.

In this webinar Dr Henry Cloud summarized so clearly the way I functioned for 30 years. It is called learned helplessness. It can be summarized by 3 P's. And careful, they can be contagious; a sickness of the mind. Under this learned helplessness I have been living most of my life out of control, with a sense that whatever I do there will be negative ramifications. We'll here is the first P - personal; I learned to take everything personal, someone saying no equalled something to the fact that I am a bad person. The second  P  is pervasive; that all of the things in my life are negative. The third and final P is permanent; that it will always be like this. I love that there isn't another 3 step process to correct this rather negative thinking. Instead, Dr Cloud's advice was to recognize it and ignore it! How wonderful to acknowledge the lie and move on to truth.

Oh boy, do you see the pattern? So depressing to think like that; and it was the dominant way of my thinking up to about a year ago!  I have already made some major changes but now I have a name for it and I can call my self out on it. I will even say, "Aly you are thinking the 3 P's" and then I intentionally ignore them and move on. How freeing to no longer keep telling myself lies. Sadly it is contagious.  My oldest who is 4 many times talks in much of the same ways, but God has revealed this to me, and I can help remind him of the truth. That things aren't personal, pervasive, and permanent; rather I can speak truth to him. 

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (ESV)

A God moment happened this morning when I talked with my mom about how meaningful it is to learn about the 3 P's and out of her heart spilled apologizes for passing the 3 P's on to me; and tears of forgiveness ran down my face. So it is contagious but there is a cure...Grace!  This is where the story continues...


  1. What a beautiful revelation, and healing, and testimony of God's grace that it doesn't have to be this way anymore!

  2. Thanks be to God!! Kirsten. My desire is to keep pressing into Him that his work in my life continue. I know that not by my strenght. Though this may seem trit to say I truth believe it.

  3. Thank you for sharing :). I do wonder how you have processed the "It's not personal" new truth.

  4. Well to be honest at times not really well. Sometimes attacks frankly are personal attacks. Other times I tell myself that others have there own issues that truly have nothing to do with me. I do think that this is a good thing to blog about. Look for it this week. Thanks for your comment!!


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