I lost a lot of who I am in being "depressed." I have for so long just survived and not thrived... Stayed alive but not really lived. So I took some time to make a vision board of who I am and want to be. It was my counselors idea. So many mornings in the past, I have written things down to do for the day; i.e. park with kids, groceries, call a friend, paint with kids... Now this is different. It is a visual reminder to who I am and want to be that I will hang on my bathroom door. I want to be purposeful in living a blessed life that I have been gifted with.
In the previous season I spent a lot of time pulling weeds; now it is time to spend cultivating me. More importantly cultivating my affection for God and who he has created me to be. At my steps study at the Village Church, they stress that you can't just rid yourself of sin, but you have to fill it with things that cultivate your affection for Christ and furthering his kingdom. Matthew 12: 43-45 "When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation." So here I go...filling my house intentionally with good so evil won't reside in my heart.
Some the things pictured are nursing into my old age (especially in other countries), growing fresh fruit and veggies, enjoying cooking, loving on my kids, become a NP, take more pictures, have more fun (i.e. let that silly child come out), plant more flowers (hydrangeas are my next goal),
...stay global minded, have a family that thrives, exercises, dance with my husband, grow in faith through God's word, cultivate a home to be used for ministry, sail, stay healthy, running, and enjoy the journey I am on. All of these I want to do with the mindset of growing in my affection for Christ and ministry.
Someone asked if I am doing this blog for greater attention...Well it has received attention but my heart is to share my struggles and learning's in hopes to minister to someone else; even if it is only one person outside of the benefit it has been to me. Blogging has helped me focus on the truth and provided accountability to continue growing.