Thursday, October 27, 2011


Words and smiles can be so deceptive.  I posted this wonderful "saved for a bad day" message on Sunday about the challenges of Children.  In essence it is true, but not truly where I was on that day.  That was the second time in a year where I thought and planned on ending my life (yes suicide).  No longer would I burden my husband, our finances, our children, and miss represent the Loving God and Father that I represent.  He also has said no to healing me from my depression at this time.  Gratefully I have a support system that reminded me of the truth and that an all inclusive trip to the Caribbean would be cheaper than getting admitted to a psych hospital.  I am waiting for those "plane tickets" still : )  Anyhow I have acknowledge that changing medications that work on your brain aren't for the faint of heart.  I go up and down for a few weeks prior to seeing if they are "helping."  Some times those weeks feel like eternity, many moments of watching life go by.  None the less I am on this journey and to God be the glory.  May my messy emotional life point all the clearer to a perfect savior that wants to redeem even the most sinful or broken people.

FREE redefined....
F- Faithful
R-Redeemer  I am..
E-Expecting his full redemption

Till his full redemption in my life I am going to pray Ephesians 6 for the full armor of God's protection and keep looking for flowers in the murk of life...


  1. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Gal 6:2

  2. Thanks for praying


Thank you dear friend for stopping by. Please leave a message or question; look back and I will reply. Thank you and God bless, Alyson