Thursday, October 27, 2011

Sunday...

Words and smiles can be so deceptive.  I posted this wonderful "saved for a bad day" message on Sunday about the challenges of Children.  In essence it is true, but not truly where I was on that day.  That was the second time in a year where I thought and planned on ending my life (yes suicide).  No longer would I burden my husband, our finances, our children, and miss represent the Loving God and Father that I represent.  He also has said no to healing me from my depression at this time.  Gratefully I have a support system that reminded me of the truth and that an all inclusive trip to the Caribbean would be cheaper than getting admitted to a psych hospital.  I am waiting for those "plane tickets" still : )  Anyhow I have acknowledge that changing medications that work on your brain aren't for the faint of heart.  I go up and down for a few weeks prior to seeing if they are "helping."  Some times those weeks feel like eternity, many moments of watching life go by.  None the less I am on this journey and to God be the glory.  May my messy emotional life point all the clearer to a perfect savior that wants to redeem even the most sinful or broken people.

FREE redefined....
F- Faithful
R-Redeemer  I am..
E-Eagerly
E-Expecting his full redemption

Till his full redemption in my life I am going to pray Ephesians 6 for the full armor of God's protection and keep looking for flowers in the murk of life...

3 comments:

  1. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Gal 6:2

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for praying

    ReplyDelete

Thank you dear friend for stopping by. Please leave a message or question; look back and I will reply. Thank you and God bless, Alyson