Monday, October 10, 2011

Blank

So I have been on the Lamictal 3 weeks now and I feel "blank."  Like; where did all my thoughts go...  That strong fighting drive of survival for each day, while combating each awful thought is gone.  "Isn't that a good thing?"  My answer is yes and no.  I have more positive thinking but at the same time lost some of who I am.  Characteristics such as passionate, creative, and driven.  My husband would disagree.  I have asked him to blog some about his experience living with a woman with depression.  He states that he has already seen such positive changes in my mood and ability to get things done and that I am more engaged with the children. 

I am still extremely tired and could easily sleep 10 hours at night and 2 during the day if only my stage of life would allow it (ie two busy wonderful children).  Back to the title of my post "blank;"  I have been trying to write for three weeks now and feel like now I have no words.  I can only write facts about life, no feelings.  It's like part of me is lost... I even feel that God is silent.  No conviction or encouraging thought from the Lord.  It is lonely in my head...maybe this is just new and good benefits will continue to manifest themselves. 

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Thank you dear friend for stopping by. Please leave a message or question; look back and I will reply. Thank you and God bless, Alyson