Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Colicky Babies...God's gift

In reflection today I came to the relization that my oldest was a strong willed cry all night baby by God's grace. For a long time I thought I was just "meant to not have babies." My husband and I didn't sleep through the night for months; 11 to be exact. My precious baby cried and cried and cried. I took him to the doctor, chiropractor, tried acid reflux medicine; without any avail. I began thinking "poor me, dealt a hard hand." Boy was I wrong and sadly four years later I have come to the realization that I was truly blessed. I can look back and still see the weeds of early parenthood, but in hind sight it was full of many flowers. God gave a depressed underserving mother a strong willed - intense personality. This situation was God's gift to get me out of bed, go interact with other moms (at MOPS), get dressed for a walk, go back to work, find wonderful life long friends; all of which I wouldn't have done if I had just stayed in bed to sulk through my "hardship." I was forced to get up and love that baby, wear him in a sling, walk with him, and learn to attend to somone else's needs, not just my own. God's gift was that though I hit many low times during the last four years (and longer), my first born was truly a gift, screaming and all. The sometimes, begrudging snuggles and hugs, night walks, and rocking back and forth; has helped contribute to a delightful little person. He is full of joy, intensity, energy, perservance, and love, thanks be to God that his depressed mother didn't squelch who God made him to be.

1 comment:

  1. Alyson, I just came to your blog for the first time and read all your posts. All I can say, through tears, is Thank You for sharing your journey. I know it will touch many people who are afraid to talk about this like I was 6-7 years ago when I suffered from a year & a half long depression. I was so ashamed to be on medication that I couldn't even talk to friends or family about it to get the support that I desperately needed. I felt so alone and hopeless, so I think it is so courageous of you to speak out, even while you are in the midst of it. Only now am I able to talk about it several years later. It is amazing how "normal" someone with depression can appear to the outside world. And I am a quiet person anyway, so I was able to easily hide it from everyone.
    I am so glad we met...I think it was a God thing! I look forward to getting to know you better!
    P.S. Your boys are wonderfully awesome, and I think it has something to do with their mommy(:

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Thank you dear friend for stopping by. Please leave a message or question; look back and I will reply. Thank you and God bless, Alyson