Sunday, December 28, 2014

Christmas summary

T'was the week around Christmas and all through the house, most creatures were sick except for the spouse. 
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that the flu wouldn't stay in the air. 
The children were nestled on their parents floor, while parents were praying that they would sleep a little bit more.
And mama with a temp of 102, we celebrated Christmas while she came down with that nasty flu too!!
Now papa stayed healthy working 50 plus hours, taking care of all people that slip and fall in their showers!
When all of a sudden the end was in sight, that then our youngest gave us a brand new fright!
Puking sounds echoed down the hall, as the eldest came yelling, "some has hit the wall."
Away from packing i flew like a flash, to hand the youngest the trash!
So now things are calmer and clean, i will kick up my feet and stare at the screen...
...not forgetting to add more probiotics to my IDLife regime!!

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Update on my journey- from a physical perspective

Infection, MRSA, pericarditis, PCOS, mono times 2, weight gain, were all overshadowing over a decade of struggles that I had with major depression and clinical anxiety. I wasn't even 30 at this point!!   All of this leads me to twice being admitted to a mental hospital.

Every person that I interacted with through this journey of struggle had their own recommendations to "fix me."  Multiple long term treatments of broad spectrum antibiotics, rest more, exercise more, pray more, add another antidepressant, here's another prescription, and above all just be grateful and pray more; were some of the suggestions I received. With each new Rx came a new side effect some worse than others.  Then training for a marathon came a femoral stress fracture.  Legalism was the result of my "do more approach to life;” I kept doing the same things over and over again expecting a different result  (I know this is the definition of insanity).  All my well-meaning efforts landed me in the humbling experience of hospitalization and over $10,000 poorer each visit.   I had to resign from my nursing job at this time...

 I needed a big shift in the way I was doing life.  My attempts to fix what was broken weren’t working.   Shortly after resolving myself that I needed to make a change I received an agonizing reaction to my medication psychological medications that I was taking at the time, Torticollis; which is a reaction that causes your muscles to contract in your neck that caused a painful distortion of my neck.   This reaction sealed the deal that I needed to do life differently, health differently, and live differently.

I called every fellow RN I knew and trusted for recommendations for practitioners that did nutritional and hormonal testing with a holistic approach to keep better tabs on my health.  After extensive testing and another large financial cost I discovered so many nutritional deficiencies in my system along with autoimmune issues.  Much to the result of growing up in a stressful life situation where I took on unhealthy patterns  and roles in my family of origin. 

For example vitamin d was in the tanks along with my magnesium levels, vitamins B levels, progesterone, insulin, and cortisol levels.   I was sick and deficient in so many areas...I left my new doctor’s office with a box full of vitamins, and progesterone cream.   I began a new journey of health at this point...I did notice some huge changes in my mood, frequency of infections, etc.

At this point I was introduced to IDLife for the second time, and everything the company stood for affirmed my quest of finding a different more holistic approach to my health.  I heard about IDLife about a year prior, but I love how God works.  I wasn't ready to make this shift in my life at this time so He gave me a second chance.

I did my personal health assessment and did my research.  I found that for almost a third the cost of my $250 a month supplements I could get pharmaceutical grade supplements with a quality guarantee. Within 48 hours I not only bought my supplements, I also jumped into the business with both feet.  It had been over a year and a half since I had worked as a Registered nurse.

Five months later I find myself standing here today doing things very differently (and some would say unconventionally).  I am 15 pounds lighter, off 4 of my prescription pills, saving money, and actually making money as I share IDLife and the quality products it offers.

I have never done anything like this!!  It took doing things very differently, stepping out of my comfort zone, taking a leap of faith, acting despite the fears and reservations.  As I have filled my nutritional deficiencies I am able to heal what was never supposed to be broken by abuse.
Now I am healthier than I have ever been!!   It is a gift that I can use my story, RN degree, and passions to help others find health.   Do I still struggle? Yes!!  But I am able to struggle up to growing as a person, friend, wife, and mother.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

What to do when life is turned upside down...

Take one step...and then the next...

Life isn't easy?!  Anyone who has lived with any sense of reality already knows this... But I seem to need to continually speak this truth to myself daily.  

There are setbacks and then victories, struggles and successes.  All of it just part of this messy thing called life.  Luckily there isn't a tally system in Christian life marking good and bad, because I would be "out" if there was such a system.   In fact we all would be out, right?  Isn't this where the Grace of God comes in, through a baby; born in humility as God and man?  What an amazing concept to flood my mind; Grace, baby, and God all in one.

Jesus could have come in a royal processional, but he didn't...

A good friend of mine just had a baby, a precious, needy, wonderful, sleepy baby boy.  Perfectly content to just snuggle up to the warmth of his mother's skin all while finding comfort suckling his mother's milk.  Now add God to this innocent picture, in fact imagine God as a baby.  Imagine Him confined, limited by His own choice to become fully human, needy, and hungry...humble picture.

Grace came in humility, by choicefully human, and yet God to share in life and pain.  His life fully turned upside down to rescue us from our upside down life.  

Hebrews 4:14-16, "Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.  For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.  Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to find grace to help in time of need."

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Starting again...

How do you start over after a major dip; another episode of depression?

Shame and fear want to hold their grip over me.  But God...

Through His grace I first stand...remember to breath...pray...and then put on my running shoes and then I go.  Each slam of my foot on the concrete, birds chirping, wind blowing, and sun gleaming on my back I reach out for Hope.  Even just a little thought of gratitude turns my shame into His grace.

1 Corinthians 15:10, "But by the grace of God I am what I am and his grace and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them- yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me."

Monday, April 29, 2013

Worn- song tenth avenue north


I'm tired, I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing
I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
'Cause I'm worn

I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
'Cause I'm worn

My prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn
Even before the day begins
I'm worn
I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn
So Heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Yes, all that's dead inside will be reborn
Though, I'm worn
Yeah, I'm worn

I can't find my own words to pray, but this song is my prayer.  With all I have left I cry out for redemption and only you call heal what is dead inside.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Wrong direction!?

Ever tried to do something you know God didn't want you to do or not do something you new he was asking you to do??

Remember Jonah...God pursued Jonah even into the belly of a whale to do his will.  God called Jonah to go to Nineveh and call the people to repentance (Jonah 1:1-2).  Jonah tried to run; in fact he did in the opposite direction (vs.3) and it almost cost him his life and the life of those around him.  Foolish Jonah!

But I can look at my life and see the same behavior...I have many times known the good I was to do and have sprinted in the wrong direction.  Only to find myself knee deep in trouble; usually emotional trouble.  I was convicted on my run today that it only takes believing one lie to get me way off track.  And boy these last few weeks I have been going in the wrong direction.

So one truth at a time I am disputing the lies I have allowed to take residence.  Not resting on what others think, nor what I assume others think, but on what God thinks about me.  The only way to know what He thinks and asks of you or me is found in his word, the Bible.  He invites us to come, rest, and give him our burdens and so often I get up and go.  "Abide in me, and I will abide in you (John 15:4)."  There is my daily invitation but I all to often find myself saying "No."

Maybe I am not so different than Jonah, foolish?

At times yes!  But also have a heavenly father that is constantly steering me toward him.

Psalm 23:4, Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, the comfort me.